Tag Archive
Gardai upset that ‘leaving no stone unturned’ doesn’t solve crimes
A two-year long study of Garda crime investigation practices has come to the shocking conclusion that leaving no stone unturned does not actually solve crimes. »
Women claim Duncan Stewart is stalking them through their TVs
Gardai say they are mystified by a huge number of calls from people who inadvertently tuned into About The House on RTE1 last night and have since become convinced that presenter Duncan Stewart is stalking them through their television sets. »
Gardai advise gangsters to approach Gardai with caution
The Mire has learned that the special Garda investigation into all gangster-related shootings has issued warnings to gangsters who fear for their lives not to associate with members of An Garda Siochana. »
Gardai say gangsters less likely to be shot when using public transport
A Garda investigation into all gangster-related shootings has reached the conclusion that sitting in parked cars is potentially lethal for any gangster. »
Fas retrain sad samurai warriors to use conkers
Fas has already begun the daunting task of retraining the 7000 samurai warriors whose swords were confiscated by Gardai last Monday. »
Country counts Halloween cost as politicians run amok
The country was this morning counting the cost after a weekend of savage debauchery as gangs of Government ministers, TDs and their aides ran riot. »
Government survives ‘Drinkgate’ with shocking bad hangover
Late night negotiations in the Dail bar to resolve the backbench rebellion which has become known as the Drinkgate crisis broke up at 6 am this morning with tentative signs of agreement. »