Tag Archive
Free sunbed sessions for the unemployed a ‘cynical ploy’
A Fine Gael spokesman this morning condemned the Govenment for “the cynical ploy” of offering free sunbed sessions to the unemployed. »
Big Brother makers and Simon Cowell may make reality show here
X Factor producer Simon Cowell and Big Brother producer Endemol are believed to be in negotiations with Taoiseach Brian Cowen about turning events in the country into a reality television show. »
Social partners claim credit as workplace fatalities at all time low
The Government is confident that it will be able to completely eradicate workplace fatalities and injuries by 2014 if the economy and unemployment trends stay on their current course. »
Shops hoping for sales bonanza from striking public servants
Small businesses and the unemployed are hoping for a reprieve from floods and recession when up to 250,000 public servants bring their considerable spending power to towns around the country. »
Newspapers take a stand – decide to finish all headlines with ?
In order to fully reflect the uncertainty of the times we live in the country’s leading newspapers have agreed to end all headlines with a question mark. »
Country counts Halloween cost as politicians run amok
The country was this morning counting the cost after a weekend of savage debauchery as gangs of Government ministers, TDs and their aides ran riot. »
Celebrity ego fuel to revive economy and save planet
Despite all indications to the contrary, it now seems likely that a Green Party energy initiative is going to save the Government, the economy, the country and the planet. »
Diggers to be impounded in vacant hotels and shops to avert atm crime
Minister for Justice Dermot Ahern is to introduce emergency legislation to impound all diggers and other plant machinery in an effort to put a stop to the recent spate of atm robberies using stolen diggers. »
Angry cabinet protests against Government
Traffic was severely disrupted in the centre of Dublin today as angry members of the Cabinet took to the streets to protest against the Government. »
Taoiseach not drinking enough say sources in his head
In an unprecedented exclusive sources inside the Taoiseach’s head have revealed that, contrary to media speculation, Brian Cowen is not drinking nearly enough. »