Tag Archive
Fas forced to look abroad for revolution tutors
Fas has conceded defeat in its efforts to hire revolutionaries to put the country back on track. Ads with all the key recruitment agencies have failed to attract a single applicant. »
Thousands flee in vain as catastrophe looms
The farmers were the first to become aware of the complete catastrophe to come. As they saw their livestock make for higher ground a primal instinct made them follow suit. »
Budget to encourage garlic-chewing to tackle climate change
Finance Minister Brian Lenihan is under intense pressure to produce measures in tomorrow’s budget that will do something to curb the country’s runaway Carbon Arseprint. »
Huge surge in violent crimes committed by doctors and nurses
Gardai have reported that an increasing number of violent crimes are being committed by doctors and nurses in a desperate attempt to keep hospital A&E departments open. »
HSE to stop treating patients who are too ill to notice
The Health Service Executive (HSE) is planning to abandon the treatment of Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia in an effort to save up to €400 million annually. »
Public servants to trial pay-related performance monitors
Public service unions desperate to avoid another round of pay cuts in the December budget have reluctantly agreed to the trial of pay-related Performance Evaluation Monitors for public servants. »
Govt fury at Waterford by-pass finishing within budget
The Government has promised that no expense will be spared in investigating the circumstances that enabled the Waterford city by-pass to be completed on budget and ahead of schedule. »
Cost benefit analysis of state agencies fails to find any benefit
A cost benefit analysis of all state agencies which was ordered by Minister for Finance Brian Lenihan has had to be abandoned after it could find no discernible benefit to measure cost against. »
Mireland’s Carbon Arseprint causing climate change – Obama
The increased flatulence of impoverished Mirish people eating cheap food is causing a rapid acceleration in global climate change, President Barack Obama told 190 heads of state and government who convened at the United Nations on the eve of the opening of the General Assembly on Climate Change. »