Huge surge in violent crimes committed by doctors and nurses

Gardai have reported that an increasing number of violent crimes are being committed by doctors and nurses in a desperate attempt to keep hospital A&E departments open.

“We are finding a huge number of assault victims with wounds that have been inflicted with surgical precision,” a Garda source said. “We believe that these assaults are being committed by off-duty doctors who will then stitch the victims when we bring them to hospital.”

“We are also seeing an increase in extremely vicious, completely irrational attacks which, we believe, are being carried out by nurses,” the source added.

It is understood the assaults are part of a co-ordinated pre-budget attempt to prove that A&E departments are more than just recovery rooms for drug-addled revellers and child alcoholics.

Tags: A&E departments, budget, doctors, nurses

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 4th, 2009 at 7:24 am and is filed under Health. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.