Archive for December, 2009

Nigella Lawson’s remarkable transformation into stand-up comedian Russell Brand has been voted the most amazing event of the noughties by readers of The Mire. »

The National Lottery has announced that a man who won a €2 scratchcard on the mid-week Lotto last October collected his winnings yesterday just hours before the deadline. »

An indepth report by the state’s mental health inspectors has found that you would have to be completely mad to stay  in many of the country’s psychiatric wards. »

It was a year that began with a visit from several British MPs to Dail Eireann to study the mystifying way in which our TDs resisted resigning. »

Numerous burglars have written to The Mire this week with the suggestion that people buy sensor lights for someone they love this Christmas. »

Gardai have said there is no evidence to support the allegation that yesterday’s fire at the Guinness brewery was started by senior figures in the FAI. »

RTE is to be at the centre of a new austerity drive in 2010 that will see the national broadcaster transmit all of its programmes in black and white. »

The pope yesterday spontaneously accepted Bishop Donal Murray’s spontaneous resignation shortly after Bishop Murray received the pope’s orders to resign. »

The office of the Ceann Comhairle Seamus Kirk has revealed that there was a complete misunderstanding over the use of unparliamentary language in the Dail by Green Party TD Paul Gogarty last week. »

The Mire has been inundated with calls from desperate shoplifters who fear they are going to suffer their worst ever Christmas as shop staff are robbing everything before they open. »