Archive for November, 2009

X Factor producer Simon Cowell and Big Brother producer Endemol are believed to be in negotiations with Taoiseach Brian Cowen about turning events in the country into a reality television show. »

The Government is confident that it will be able to completely eradicate workplace fatalities and injuries by 2014 if the economy and unemployment trends stay on their current course. »

In a desperate bid to promote personal fitness the Government is planning to ban inactive people from wearing active wear, The Mire has learned. »

A man doctors thought was in a vegetative state for 23 years was actually working for Fas, The Mire has learned. »

Small businesses and the unemployed are hoping for a reprieve from floods and recession when up to 250,000 public servants bring their considerable spending power to towns around the country. »

Members of flooded communities in the south and west have complained that it was “completely inappropriate” of Taoiseach Brian Cowen to throw water balloons at them this morning. »

In one of the most extraordinary and exciting developments since man first walked on the moon NASA scientists believe they have found signs of intelligent life on Mars. »

The Mire has learned that the special Garda investigation into all gangster-related shootings has issued warnings to gangsters who fear for their lives not to associate with members of An Garda Siochana. »

In order to fully reflect the uncertainty of the times we live in the country’s leading newspapers have agreed to end all headlines with a question mark. »

A Garda investigation into all gangster-related shootings has reached the conclusion that sitting in parked cars is potentially lethal for any gangster. »