The Mire.net

On a clear day you can see the confusion for miles

TDs accuse Ryan of trying to bring politics into repute

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Minister for Communications Eamon Ryan has been accused of trying to bring politics into repute by saying the Government would help homeowners struggling to pay their mortgages. Read the rest of this entry »

People booking flights just to be seen naked on body scanners

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Airports with full body scanners on trial have found that many people are booking flights for the sole purpose of being seen naked by somebody other than themselves. Read the rest of this entry »

iPad Roleplay gives users full Charlie Bird experience

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A little known feature of the new Apple iPad is the facility whereby users can set their unit to give them the virtual experiences of a celebrity of their choice. Read the rest of this entry »

Taoiseach chose Nama because he ‘loved the sound’ of the word

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According to sources in Government buildings Taoiseach Brian Cowen opted for Nama over nationalisation of the banks because he loved the sound of the word. Read the rest of this entry »

Loan sharks stress importance of staying in touch

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Many of the country’s leading loan sharks have stressed that debtors should always advise their loan sharks of a change in their circumstances. Read the rest of this entry »

Officials consider hiring on-course milfs to entice Tiger back to golf

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The Mire has learned that senior officials in professional golf  are considering hiring on-course milfs to entice Tiger Woods back to the professional game.
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Bank crisis inquiry to proceed with ‘mental reservation’

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The Mire understands that Fianna Fail and Green Party negotiators have reached a compromise that will allow some elements of the inquiry into the banking crisis to be heard in public. Read the rest of this entry »

Minister for Health position may be discontinued if Harney resigns

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Fears that Mary Harney may resign as Minister for Health have prompted panic on all sides of Leinster House where no one wants to succeed her. Read the rest of this entry »

Gardai say no missing persons report filed on Enda Kenny

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Gardai from stations around the country have confirmed to The Mire that no missing persons report has been filed on Fine Gael leader Enda Kenny and nobody is looking for him. Read the rest of this entry »

Unused sat navs become introverted, bitter and subversive

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A man who claimed his car’s sat nav system told him to burn down a Dublin Garda station has been released without charge pending further investigation of the sat nav system in question. Read the rest of this entry »

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